“Relive Your College Communal Shower Experience and be Bathed in Humility at 35” Award Acceptance Speech

What two broken hot water heaters taught me about humility and community

Mar 17, 2023

I am extremely honored to be receiving the “Relive Your College Communal Shower Experience and be Bathed in Humility at 35” Award. I am eternally grateful for the recognition I have received for this moment because I am sure every other nominee for this award was as humbled as me to be carrying a shower caddy and sporting sandals somewhere other than their freshman dorm. I received this award at my neighbor’s home (thank you, Allison), though others may have accepted the honor while volunteering as a camp leader or at your local gym.

I faced several challenges leading up to this momentous day. A month ago, my family was ready on time to leave for church. In my humble opinion, this feat required more strength than the award I graciously receive, as I successfully wrestled a stronger-than-he-looks 34 lbs toddler into pants with a zipper and convinced him to use the bathroom AND wash his hands. The morning also included a last minute diaper change and barrette placement for a two year old. My husband and I were both freshly showered, also wearing pants with zippers. In one arm I held the 2 year old, and my other grasped handles on a brown bag containing a casserole for a family at church. My husband opened the garage door and froze like a statue. My son also paused and looked at my husband and me with wide eyes.

He asked, “Why is there water all over the garage?”

The sound of water gushing from one of our two hot water heaters almost drowned out his small voice. I loved the waterfall I hiked to see in the Smoky Mountains last year. Water tumbling over itself to join a stream and water crashing into itself inspired stillness and contemplation in a national park. However, when the water was tumbling from a hot water heater and joining a lake on my garage floor, it was a different stillness and contemplation. What are we going to do and how bad is the damage?! (Spoiler alert: I’m glad I didn’t know at that moment our basement playroom was also soaked, and the baseboards in our basement bathroom were also pregnant with moisture. We would have over a month of continuous work to restore the garage and basement to their former glory.)

Our remedy appeared, like a rainbow in the mist above a waterfall, in the form of a plumber named Randy, a working shop vac, three Little Tikes Bounce House fans, and a borrowed humidifier.

While my husband and I (foolishly) believed the Water Heater Situation was resolved, we traversed an additional challenge two weeks later. I had just returned from a solo trip to the Rocky Mountains to commemorate my thirty-fifth birthday. I skied, got a deep tissue massage, and soaked in hot springs. My body was limber, and my mind enjoyed the break from Snack Management. Two hours after I walked in the door, my husband ascended the basement stairs. My hands were submerged in soapy water scraping pasta off dinner plates. I was daydreaming about the hot shower I would take after the kids went to bed; I would spray eucalyptus spa shower spray and wash airplane germs off myself.

He smirked, lifted his eyebrows, and said, “You’ll never believe it.” I turned off the water and faced him. “The other hot water heater just burst. Can you put the kids to bed tonight?” He turned the hot water off and spent the next two hours sucking up water from the garage and bathroom with our shop vac.

Thankfully, we saved Randy’s contact information. Great news: Randy was available to install two new hot water heaters. Not-as-Great News: The water heaters we selected were not in stock, and the soonest Randy could procure and install two water heaters would be three days. I learned important life lessons in those three days -- the dishwasher and washing machine require hot water to run, cleaning dishes with cold water feels unsanitary, and shower heads produce only a trickle without the pressure of hot water.

I knew I could not survive three days without a shower. My husband texted our backyard neighbors, Jason and Allison (whose last name I still don’t know), to inquire about the possibility of using their shower for a couple days. I was determined not to disturb Allison’s work-from-home routine with my toddlers or create additional mess for her to clean.

“We’re going on a super fun adventure,” I sang to my toddlers, “to Mr. Jason and Miss Allison’s house! We’re not going to eat their snacks or touch their toys. We’re going to sit on the couch and watch TV while Mommy takes a quick shower. Isn’t that so fun, to watch TV in the middle of the morning?” My acting convinced them.

I gathered greasy hair into a ponytail, put on sandals, slung a bag with toiletries / towel / clothes over my shoulder, and loaded the toddlers into our stroller. We rounded a corner, and I reminded them what we would and would not do at our neighbor’s house. Their basement door was waiting, unlocked for us. I opened it, keeping the toddlers from touching baseball bats and soccer balls. Mercifully, the television remote rested on the couch. Immediately I located Daniel Tiger and slipped into the bathroom.

“Mommy is right here,” I yelled to children whose eyes were already glued to the screen. I turned on the water and exhaled when steam filled the bathroom. In less than one episode of Daniel Tiger, I emerged clean and dressed in humility. Though short, the shower at Jason and Allison’s house is on my Top Ten Best Shower list.

I would like to thank shop vacs; your ability to suck and spit water is second to none. I would like to thank Little Tikes for creating a motor that fuels fun in bounce houses as well as blows with an industrial strength to dry out wet walls and carpets. I would like to thank our plumber, Randy, for his expertise, congenial laughter at my terrible jokes, and answering all my desperate texts and calls. I would like to thank my neighbor, Allison, who nominated me for this award. Though Allison and I don’t know each other well, bathing at her house while my toddlers watched her television moved our relationship forward. I would like to thank PBS for creating Daniel Tiger, the television show that entertained two toddlers in a stranger’s house while their mother bathed. I would like to thank my friend, Rachel, who would have also nominated me for this award had Allison not contacted the Committee first. I also appeared at her house with two dirty toddlers, desperation, and a shower caddy. I would like to thank my travel toiletry kit and guest towels; without easy access to both, this experience would not have been possible. Lastly, I would like to thank my two new hot water heaters. I hope we have many happy, steamy, hot years together.

Although I know those of you in the audience would also be honored to receive the “Relive Your College Communal Shower Experience and be Bathed in Humility at 35” Award, I urge you to check the date on your hot water heaters. Google informed me hot water heaters last 12-20 years. An appointment is already scheduled in my Google Calendar for March 2033.

Two weeks have passed since my shower at Jason and Allison’s, and hot water at home gifted me the ability to reflect. It’s humbling to feel dirty, and it’s humbling to ask for help. However, it’s incredible to realize in only eighteen months in a new neighborhood (and state), my husband and I dug deep to find community. Kindness and generosity flooded from people eager to help, even with an ask as small as a shower and Daniel Tiger.

I hope to avoid a future nomination for this prestigious award, although I will proudly display the figurine in my bathroom. Thank you!

This post is part of a blog hop with Exhale—an online community of women pursuing creativity alongside motherhood, led by the writing team behind Coffee + Crumbs. Click here to view the next post in the series "Acceptance Speech".